The Blessing of Being a Mother

This evening Tripp awoke abruptly from his nap crying and calling for me. Cliff went in there thinking he was just waking up but quickly called me in there saying Tripp had a bad dream. I went in Tripp's room to find him sitting in his bed crying and very upset. I got in the bed with him and asked him to talk to me. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong and what his dream was about. I tried to comfort him and told him it was ok but it still took a little while for him to calm down. He finally managed to tell me that something had happened to me. After me laying with him awhile he was ok and laughing some. I asked him again what his dream was about and he told me that a cop had taken me away and he was going to miss me. He started tearing up and his eyes turned red, then he started crying again. In that moment nothing in the world meant more to be than just making him feel secure and loved. It broke my heart! It made me cry to see him so scared and vulnerable. I love being a mom and Tripp is my world but there are many times in a day were I ask myself what in the world did I get myself into? He can try my patience so easily. But this evening non of that mattered. It was minor compared to making him feel secure. To see how much it would hurt him to not have me there for him was devastating. I know that with my health that there will come a time when I can no longer care for him or do things with him. I also know that the longer I go not taking care of myself the quicker this will happen, to quickly! It's not about me anymore, its about him. I owe it to him to be around as long as I can. He needs me! I am getting a lump in my throat as I write this, reliving that moment in his bed and seeing the pure pain in his eyes. I have got to do all I can to take better care of my health at whatever cost there is, it is my duty as his mom. I need to take time everyday to just appreciate the blessings of motherhood. I often get caught up in the responsibilities of being a mom that I take for granted the privilege of raising Tripp. He is such a kind hearted, smart, fun loving, stubborn child. He is a  remarkable little boy. He is a light on my darkest days and I am grateful to be his mom. I vow to do all I can as his mother to be around for as long as I can to nurture and love him. I vow to take time everyday to just enjoy him and appreciate the blessings of being his mom.